Thanks for the Laughs, SkyMall

Today I am going to deviate from my usual tutorial posts. If you came over for your DIY fix, you can see my post on re-upholstering a $5 yard sale chair on Time 2 Save Workshops HERE.

But, if you really need a good laugh today (like I do), please continue reading.

On our flight to Florida I found myself captivated by the Skymall catalog. Some of the products had me laughing out loud. I knew I had to share some of these fabulously silly products with y’all.

<<Ding Dong>>

Pretty Handsome Guy: “Honey, can you get the door?”

Me: “Oh, it is just Buddy..”

PHGuy: “Why is Buddy ringing the doorbell.”

Me: “Because he wants to go out.”

A week later…

<<Ding Dong>>

PHGuy: “Oh for Pete’s sake. Does that dog really want to out again? He rings that doorbell every 5 minutes.

Me: “I’ll let him out in a few minutes.”

<<Ding Dong>>

<<Ding Dong>>

<<Ding Dong>>

<<Ding Dong>>

<<Ding Dong>>

Me: “Oh no! It really was the doorbell. It was a Girl Scout with my cookies. Come Back!!!”

 

 

Guess what! You don’t have to hide the litter box anymore! Oh happy day…instead you can put this <<ahem>> attractive planter with a gigantic hole in it in your living room!
In fact, you can put it front and center in your room and use it as one gigantic focal point. I have to call Erin at Two Story Cottage about this. There must be some rule against focal points that are just plain U-G-L-Y!

 

Peek-a-boo! Speaking of wrong, this product photo just creeps me out. Is that a lady climbing out of an under the bed storage box? Or is she a zombie coming out of a coffin.

 

 

Pretty Handsome Guy: “Hi, honey I’m home. Oh no, rough day?”

Me: “What? Why do you ask?”

PHGuy: “Oh no reason, do you have a headache?”

Me: “Why yes, how did you know?”

PHGuy: “I think it was the steel brain-sucker thingy resting on your head that tipped me off.”

 

 

So, you finally planned a get-a-way to the beach. But, when you get there you have to put down this gigantic mat to protect you from the (horror of all horrors!) sand. Ummm, okay. So, why did you go to the beach?

 

 

Helen goes to the beauty parlor every week to get her hair set. One thing she never leaves home without is her Sit-n-Stroll. Isn’t that smart? She can work out and exercise while sitting under the dryer. She is so thrilled with herself that she just ignores Eunice who is LAUGHING her curls off looking at Helen!”

I have to admit, that Sit-N-Stroll is tempting. Do you think it could help me lose that blogger bloat! Afterall, it counts calories, time, steps and much more! (Wonder if it has a blog post word count tracker  and Tweet Deck installed?)

 

 

I get the concept, but I want to know, who awarded this product something and what was the award for?
“And the best way to train your cat to use the toilet award goes to………”

What do you tell your guests when they want to use the toilet and your cat is already using it?
Me: “Sorry, you’ll have to wait a minute. Felix is in there. Oh, and don’t mind the claw marks on the toilet paper. Sometimes he uses it as a scratching post.”

 

 

I am definitely one who appreciates the freedom of hands-free. That is why I loved my baby carriers when my boys were babies. But, this just looks ridiculous. Tell me you wouldn’t bust out laughing if you saw someone wearing this at the airport?! The “Helpy” looks like a suitcase bra to me. And what happens when she is rushing to catch her connecting flight and stops short? <<Guffaw, snort, snort!>> I’m just laughing thinking about it.

 

This faux birdhouse may reduce the noise of your dog barking. But, the birds will be squawking up a racket trying to get into this birdhouse.

That is just plain cruelty to birds!

 

 

Dude, if you think putting this thing on your head every night is going to restore your confidence, you better think again. Can’t you just see the ribbing he’d get from his friends when they came over to watch football with him?

Then again, who knows, maybe it would turn into an i-Restore party for men. “Brent, Dude, pass the i-Restore! You’re hogging it.” ” Ooo, I can really feel it working. Mark, Dude, you gotta try this.”

 

 

Now, I bring you some fabulous home décor products that you must have in your home!

This life sized “Mademoiselle” Lamp will be sure to turn heads, (if it doesn’t scare the you-know-what out of you every time you go downstairs in the middle of the night.)

The next morning:

Me: “Honey, why does our “Mademoiselle” Lamp look – errrr – beat up?”

Pretty Handsome Guy: “You’d knock her head off too if she tried to attack you in the middle of the night!”

 

 

Okay, so the lady lamp wasn’t quite your style. Well,  how about this lovely lawn statue:

The good thing about this sculpture is that my neighbor’s dogs or cats would no longer roam in my yard. Then again, I don’t think we could ever get Buddy out in the yard to do his business again. Hmmm, might have to skip this one.

 

 

I saved the best for last…Introducing Sperm Shoes!!! And LOOK! They even explain the rationale behind their logo: “Slick Seed of Life Logo – Because it’s cool!” That was some sales pitch!

 

Have low sperm count? Wear these shoes!

Are you pregnant but can’t share the news yet? Wear sperm shoes and keep ‘em guessing.

 

Disclaimer: I was not paid by SkyMall to share these products with you. I don’t get a commission if you buy them. In fact, their lawyers are probably drawing up a cease and desist letter right now, asking me to delete this post. So enjoy it while it lasts!

Comments

  1. thanks so much for the great laughs – the guests, the cat, and the toilet is the best laugh I’ve had all week !

  2. Shell W. says:

    ROFLMAOPIMP I thought I was the only who laughed at that magazine & creeped out the folks sitting near me on international flights lol. But all my deployed family & friends would just love that anti-sand mat lol

  3. THIS was HILARIOUS!!! Saw your tweet on twitter and had to come see… I AGREE Skymall has some completely ridiculous stuff! Why are you shopping on an airplane anyway?!?! BAHAHA!

  4. Thanks for the laughs!!! Too funny!

  5. I actually need the head massager for my chronic migraines. And, I want that cat potty trainer, too. Can do w/o the yeti statue though. Funny!

  6. “slick seed of life logo- because it’s cool” ROFL. thanks for sharing!

  7. hehe!!!!

  8. Ok you will laugh at me. I use that bird house with my dog. The fence to the back yard is less than 5 feet from a bus stop. I keep it inside and if there is someone at the stop and the dog is barking all I have to do is open the door and show him the bird house and he stops. I don’t even have to turn it on any more.

  9. My Mom and I recently traveled to CA and were laughing our heads off looking at the Skymall catalog. That brain sucker (I mean head massager) was just has WIN written all over it. If the Bigfoot statue was life size my Dad would buy it just to freak people out. He would move it around his property near the road so drivers would see it. But I think the Sperm Shoes are by far the funniest.

    But I would buy the bird house dog bark thing if I knew it worked for sure. We have construction going on down the street and all the dogs in the neighborhood (including mine) are now barking constantly.

    I can’t wait to show this to my friends.

  10. I have never seen a skymall magazine before and I travel a lot, but only internationally. I really need to clean my screen now on my computer, I was laughing that hard.
    Btw I saw that cat potty training kit on Animal Planet where they tested it and it worked. Not that I would want one, my cat goes outside.

  11. Hilarious! Did you notice the award-winning cat device tells you “watch the video?” Their site probably crashed with everyone trying to watch it at once! :)

  12. Ok, seriously, those have to be from a Saturday Night Live skit or something! The suitcase bra? The head massager/brain sucker? The sand-free beach blanket? C’mon! And who spends money on these things??? At least they were good for a laugh :)

  13. That was truly laugh out loud funny, thanks!

  14. These are hilarious!! Although I have to say after one too many migraines where all I wanted was one of those neck massager to just work and do it on it’s own with no help from me so I could just lay in agony from the migraine….I kind of get where the brain sucker thing idea came from. Would I buy it? nope. I’ll just keep getting Military Man to hold the neck massager where I need it ;)

  15. OMg.. that was great. Thank you for the laughs. I get a Wireless magazine that has things like that in it. Fingerhut does the same. I just want to know who comes up with these things.

  16. Thanks for the laugh Britanny-especially the sperm shoes!
    I also liked the “Sit’n stroll” device. To think I just completed a lose fat fastdiet/exercise program.Apparently I could have exercised just as much at the hairdressers!

  17. Wow… hard to believe they are serious! And they jut kept getting better… {Can’t they see that their logo is a SPERM?!} Thanks for the chuckle :-)

  18. My husband, Sasquatch, says you missed his favorite one. The Armada 20 Winder pro watch case. Specifically for the person who owns 20 wind up watches and doesn’t want to wind them. Where the winder pro case for 1 or 4 watches is just not enough.
    http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=203636005&c=10063

  19. Did you see the garden sculpture shaped like a zombie crawling out of the dirt?
    Awesome.

  20. YES!! HYSTERICAL. Love that bra that pulls the suitcase. LOVE that I got a mention in the funniest post ever. :) Still laughing. Can’t stop!!

  21. Ha! That pet doorbell is my favorite! Reminds me of our little birdie friend: we have a robin who knocks on the front door. He visited last summer and has just shown up again. For the longest time, I thought kids were doing it and running. Then I finally caught him flying away. Unfortunately, I did miss a delivery once because I thought it was good ol’ robin. (I think he sees himself in the shiny kickplate at the bottom of the door and thinks it’s another bird.)

  22. OMG! I don’t know what to buy first: the bigfoot statue for my 48 sq.meters flat, the sand saver (I live in South Spain by the sea, and it looks so useful…)or maybe the Helpy… to look like Shrek’s Donkey and make my family thinks I finally got totally nuts (I know they think I’m a little eccentric). And I have a friend who tried to train her kitten with a similar cat potty trainer, and the cat HATES it. A smart cat…
    Thanks for the laughing.

  23. Hysterical, Brittany! Do you remember I trained Bruin to ring a doorbell to go out? Exactly what you described happening is what happened. I was hostage to the doggie doorbell. My favorite is the shoe with the “slick seed of life” logo. LOL.

  24. lol!!!!!!
    this is an awesome post!
    a perfect end to my day!

  25. I am crying because I am laughing so hard. Wow, I needed that, thank you!

  26. I can’t stop laughing!

  27. Victoria says:

    These never fail to make me laugh. I travel ALOT for work and you’d be surprised how logical some of these items seem after you’ve been on the road for several days in a row! Ha ha.

  28. Sky Mall is one of the last benefits of flying. It’s always a treat!

    Meanwhile, I have my own Sit’n Stroll…I have a treadle sewing machine that lets me exercise while sewing. LOL

  29. SkyMall catalogs are awesome!! I was surprised you didn’t comment on my favorite part of the shoe ad: “‘Slick’ Seed of Life Logo: Because it’s cool!”

    Uh, yeah…ok. If you say so. *snort*

  30. Wow :) Thank you so much ! In France, we have so many “dumb” products too (sorry again pour mon très mauvais anglais ;) ) but with the “cliché” American picture…. So much fun ! Nobody can ask you to remove this, because you’re so funny when you say what’s on everybody’s mind here :)
    By the way, you blog is so great ! Love it !

  31. You just made my day with the sperm shoes! I haven’t flown since August, so maybe those weren’t in there yet.

    Did your issue of SkyMall have the giant statue of Anubis? Haaaaaaahahahaha.

  32. I loved your commentary as much as the ads. Thanks for the much needed laugh today. I hope you enjoyed your visit to our state. We once had a special rabbit indoors that we trained to use the kitty litter box. I sit and stroll when I am on the computer with the treadle part of the frame of my desk. And those shoes that have smart memory that propels you forward…. I won’t touch that one.

  33. ROFLMAO!

  34. Darlene T says:

    Oh my goodness. That was so funny. A very much needed laugh after a stressful day. . . and I didn’t even need that brain sucker :)

  35. I have thought the same thing about SkyMall so many times! And every now and then, there’s just one thing I can’t live without and have to because it’s so darn expensive! Thanks for the post! Now I know I’m not alone! :)

  36. You’ve inspired me to post about this silly catalogues. I know my friends will enjoy a lot. Take a look about my selection, I hope you enjoy. Sorry that the post is in spanish. (The title is something like “how could I live without this until now, dude?”):D
    http://enuntita.blogspot.com/2011/03/como-he-podido-vivir-sin-ello-oye.html

  37. im not sure which one is my favorite!
    i’ve been sharing this with everyone!

  38. Too funny! Although I will say that the sand mat would be really useful when camping. They help keep the sand out of the tent, and anyone who’s ever attempted to sweep a tent knows it’s nearly impossible to keep clean. And if you’re REALLY camping, then you’ll have no electricity to run a Dirt Devil. :)

  39. That lamp is hilarious! Can you imagine someone putting that in their home? LMAO

    And why would you want a Bigfoot statue that only 2 feet tall? I mean, surely the awesome people have lifesize Bigfoot statues in their yards.

  40. I had to find this post again for my husband after we flew cross county yesterday – “enjoying” SkyMall for part of the trip. We got the biggest laugh out of the Zombie of Montclaire Moors statue (or that’s what they cal it!). http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=102876212&c=

  41. Found you through DIYhomestagingtips.com. This was awesome! Thanks for the giggles…

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