Today I am going to deviate from my usual tutorial posts. If you came over for your DIY fix, you can see my post on re-upholstering a $5 yard sale chair on Time 2 Save Workshops HERE.
But, if you really need a good laugh today (like I do), please continue reading.
On our flight to Florida I found myself captivated by the Skymall catalog. Some of the products had me laughing out loud. I knew I had to share some of these fabulously silly products with y’all.
Pretty Handsome Guy: “Honey, can you get the door?”
Me: “Oh, it is just Buddy..”
PHGuy: “Why is Buddy ringing the doorbell.”
Me: “Because he wants to go out.”
A week later…
PHGuy: “Oh for Pete’s sake. Does that dog really want to out again? He rings that doorbell every 5 minutes.
Me: “I’ll let him out in a few minutes.”
Me: “Oh no! It really was the doorbell. It was a Girl Scout with my cookies. Come Back!!!”
Guess what! You don’t have to hide the litter box anymore! Oh happy day…instead you can put this <<ahem>> attractive planter with a gigantic hole in it in your living room!
In fact, you can put it front and center in your room and use it as one gigantic focal point. I have to call Erin at Two Story Cottage about this. There must be some rule against focal points that are just plain U-G-L-Y!
Peek-a-boo! Speaking of wrong, this product photo just creeps me out. Is that a lady climbing out of an under the bed storage box? Or is she a zombie coming out of a coffin.
Pretty Handsome Guy: “Hi, honey I’m home. Oh no, rough day?”
Me: “What? Why do you ask?”
PHGuy: “Oh no reason, do you have a headache?”
Me: “Why yes, how did you know?”
PHGuy: “I think it was the steel brain-sucker thingy resting on your head that tipped me off.”
So, you finally planned a get-a-way to the beach. But, when you get there you have to put down this gigantic mat to protect you from the (horror of all horrors!) sand. Ummm, okay. So, why did you go to the beach?
Helen goes to the beauty parlor every week to get her hair set. One thing she never leaves home without is her Sit-n-Stroll. Isn’t that smart? She can work out and exercise while sitting under the dryer. She is so thrilled with herself that she just ignores Eunice who is LAUGHING her curls off looking at Helen!”
I have to admit, that Sit-N-Stroll is tempting. Do you think it could help me lose that blogger bloat! Afterall, it counts calories, time, steps and much more! (Wonder if it has a blog post word count tracker and Tweet Deck installed?)
I get the concept, but I want to know, who awarded this product something and what was the award for?
“And the best way to train your cat to use the toilet award goes to………”
What do you tell your guests when they want to use the toilet and your cat is already using it?
Me: “Sorry, you’ll have to wait a minute. Felix is in there. Oh, and don’t mind the claw marks on the toilet paper. Sometimes he uses it as a scratching post.”
I am definitely one who appreciates the freedom of hands-free. That is why I loved my baby carriers when my boys were babies. But, this just looks ridiculous. Tell me you wouldn’t bust out laughing if you saw someone wearing this at the airport?! The “Helpy” looks like a suitcase bra to me. And what happens when she is rushing to catch her connecting flight and stops short? <<Guffaw, snort, snort!>> I’m just laughing thinking about it.
This faux birdhouse may reduce the noise of your dog barking. But, the birds will be squawking up a racket trying to get into this birdhouse.
That is just plain cruelty to birds!
Dude, if you think putting this thing on your head every night is going to restore your confidence, you better think again. Can’t you just see the ribbing he’d get from his friends when they came over to watch football with him?
Then again, who knows, maybe it would turn into an i-Restore party for men. “Brent, Dude, pass the i-Restore! You’re hogging it.” ” Ooo, I can really feel it working. Mark, Dude, you gotta try this.”
Now, I bring you some fabulous home décor products that you must have in your home!
This life sized “Mademoiselle” Lamp will be sure to turn heads, (if it doesn’t scare the you-know-what out of you every time you go downstairs in the middle of the night.)
The next morning:
Me: “Honey, why does our “Mademoiselle” Lamp look – errrr – beat up?”
Pretty Handsome Guy: “You’d knock her head off too if she tried to attack you in the middle of the night!”
Okay, so the lady lamp wasn’t quite your style. Well, how about this lovely lawn statue:
The good thing about this sculpture is that my neighbor’s dogs or cats would no longer roam in my yard. Then again, I don’t think we could ever get Buddy out in the yard to do his business again. Hmmm, might have to skip this one.
I saved the best for last…Introducing Sperm Shoes!!! And LOOK! They even explain the rationale behind their logo: “Slick Seed of Life Logo – Because it’s cool!” That was some sales pitch!
Have low sperm count? Wear these shoes!
Are you pregnant but can’t share the news yet? Wear sperm shoes and keep ‘em guessing.
Disclaimer: I was not paid by SkyMall to share these products with you. I don’t get a commission if you buy them. In fact, their lawyers are probably drawing up a cease and desist letter right now, asking me to delete this post. So enjoy it while it lasts!